Football is back!

Brace yourselves people, another crazy season kicks off tomorrow. I must warn that my TL would get bloody, very bloody so if you don’t like football, just mute me on weekends, I will understand.

The transfer window is slowly closing and as usual the economist in London has bought a prodigy, as to whether he will buy another, oh wait, he wanted Dracula de Liverpool at a “good” price. Barcelona has decided not to buy a defender, we got Neymar, a new coach Tata, (#animsTito) and still no natural central defender. I thought Bayern Munich’s thrashing would send Sandro a message *sigh* we are stuck with Shakira at the back (says a silent prayer). Real Madrid are after Gareth Bale so bad, they willing to spend 80 million English Pounds on him, not that he isn’t worth it, actually he isn’t but I blame the rich men in France, they tore the transfer market apart with their outrageous spending. Real Madrid shouldn’t be struggling but Tottenham should hold out and make a lot of money. Oh and the “brownings”, the way some players “browned” some big clubs left me thinking, maybe they can’t attract good players anymore.

Away from the transfers, my predictions for this season. I’ll start with the Germans, Pep Guardiola should easily win the league. His main competitor Klopp is good, but Pep has a better team hence no excuse, none at all to watch the league title go away. The French league, well, I don’t watch it much but Monaco has Falcao and PSG has the almighty Zlatan and Cavani. The Italian league, I have realized the big teams in Milan are slowly becoming like Liverpool and Arsenal, but I might be wrong, after all AC has a good and young attack. I’ll place my bet on the Old Ladies of Italian football. The EPL, hmmm, the grandpapa is back, Jose “runaway from Spanish football” Mourinho has returned to his comfort zone and oh, he didn’t meet SAF and Arsenal has still not won a trophy (8 years and still counting). But for Pelligrini, I see Mou bossing the EPL shamelessly. Moyes, moyes, moyes, whatever happens, we know at least he has one trophy, the embarrassment won’t be too much, but a small part of me believes the red devils can pull a little surprise(as to whether it would be a good one or otherwise, only the Force knows). But I’ll place my bet on either Chelsea or Manchester City. I’ll also bet that by week 8, Liverpool and Arsenal would have ended their season.

The La Liga, my personal favorite. Of course, I want Barcelona to win it, I know they will, in fact, they must, Neymar+Messi+Alexis would be tearing defenses apart. I hope the new coach finds a way of dealing with the holes in the back. I can’t go through that 7 nil embarrassment again. And from the Real Madrid vs Chelsea match, Real Madrid won’t be joking this season, they have a point to prove and their coach is a serious man(suddenly I’m scared). On the bright side, the fake Ronaldo has not renewed his contract, let’s hope for the best. LOL. I am just waiting for the new players who will come from their youth side to come and shine in the La Liga with their refreshing football. But the title would be between Barcelona and Real Madrid, their rivalry is the bloodiest in the entire solar system.

Anyway, come what may,it’s football so expect the unexpected. There would be banter, joy, heartbreaks(expect for Arsenal and Liverpool fans), but the best part would be FOOTBALL IS BACK!!

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How to behave at a Ghanaian party

This post is a party “apo” not parties where there are only drinks and plenty dancing, I’m talking about parties where you are allowed to eat, no restrictions. Before we begin, let me correct this, if you aren’t the one putting the food into your plate, its not a “serve yourself” party. I’m talking about golden tulip buffets and the parties MPs and ministers have where food flow isn’t restricted.

When you attend these parties, don’t you wish for more space in your stomach? Or at least wish you had 4 stomachs like the goats we feast on? Ever been to a party where a full goat was on fire and you were allowed to cut as much as you want? Those are the days you become fully aware of the limitations of the human stomach. But I have a few tips here to help you get the best out of these events.

1. The morning of the party, eat nothing. Or take something light, don’t go to the party having food already in your stomach, eat nothing, offload everything.

2. Have you realized that at these parties, water is served first, then the drinks, before the food? Smart people, the liquids just occupy unnecessary space in the stomach cavity. Sip some of the water and throw the rest away. Leave the drink for now, it should be the last thing you take or just pour it into the empty water bottle(you can drink it at home) but in case you want to drink everything, take it in sips, don’t gulp it down like a fish (wait, fishes don’t drink water, or do they?).

3. When its time to serve yourself, avoid the liquids(I will stress this a lot), its not best to start with starters, just go to the heavy food first. And don’t take too much, it doesn’t work that way. Because you like jollof a lot, you will go and fill your plate with jollof, you will waste your stomach space.

4. Don’t start with food you aren’t familiar with, fill half of your stomach with a variety of foods you are comfortable with before you move to the unknowns (thank me later).

5. After the 2nd round of serving yourself, get up and take a walk around the building or walk to the washroom. This would allow some of the lighter food to digest else you will last only 2 rounds. After the 4th round of serving yourself, by then the party should come to life, go and dance some of the food away, take a walk around and join the queue for another round.

6. Remember to eat a bit of everything. Some of the foods being served are expensive and you might not get another chance to eat them for free. One ladle of each type of rice, a slice of yam, a bit of banku etc. Then after you have eaten everything, you can fill your stomach with some salad, meat and drinks.

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These 6 points are the most important now, practise them and stop wasting food at parties. You will notice that you will eat, drink and have fun at the party.

Thank me later,

Corgito Ergo Sum,
Achere

Goodbye El Guaje

8th July, 2013 was a sad day for me, my favorite player in Barcelona David Villa(El Guaje) was sold to Atl├ętico Madrid after playing for Barcelona FC for 3 seasons. Before he was signed, I knew him as a winger for Valencia FC and the Spanish National team. I was very excited when I heard Guardiola was going to sign him. Then he won the World Cup in South Africa, the excitement was too much.

David Villa

David Villa

He was a great buy, I always remember his signature goals on that dangerous left foot of his. His goals against Real Madrid in the 5 nil whipping and his goal in the 3-1 win over Manchester United in the UEFA champions league final. He was doing very well till he started getting injured then the major injury came in the Fifa World Club Cup competition. He slowly lost his spot in the starting 11 and truth be told, Barca is a winning club, its a little difficult dealing with players who aren’t consistent. The injuries made him inconsistent. We saw less and less of him till the day I heard, he had been sold. I knew it was coming but it was still very heartbreaking. Oh, and that his goal against AC Milan *sigh*.

I will always love you El Guaje, David 7 Villa. Wishing you all the best.

Corgito Ergo Sum,
Achere