The prodigal child

When God answers a prodigal child…

 I want to do good to please You… But, I want to do evil to gratify my flesh, too… My relationship with you has no compromise, it takes a toll; You want all of my body, spirit and soul. Falling in love with You was the best experience, but my love for you has waxed cold. You are too perfect, too mighty, too awesome,you deserve someone better. I can’t even love myself, I’ll disappoint you… To. The. Letter. It’s not for the lack of trying, I try to fit your standards, I try to be righteous… to love You… to be holy…  but I just can’t… I just can’t…

Yourself? Is it about you or about us? Our love, our relationship, our friendship? Your righteousness before me is filthy. I first loved you even before you loved me, even before you existed. I am Love. You don’t understand me.

The more I struggle to, the further I get from you. But religion gives me a better offer; it offers me fig leaves, put me here and you over there making me believe I don’t need you anywhere. I try to be “Christ like” but when I compare myself to you, I fall short and I’m overwhelmed, I fail everyday and it hurts me knowing I hurt you.

I will make you righteous, I give grace and faith.  Did I not save you? Why don’t you trust me anymore? You sin because you are proud, you want to work to sustain the salvation you received for free, you want to boast in yourself forgetting obedience is a fruit of your love for me, you cannot do it on your own.

Father, think about this; why would the maker of the heavens, creator of the universe who sits enthroned above the circle of the earth and calls each star by name, angels bow down and worship him “holy holy holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, who is, who is to come” want to be my friend? You even died for me?  You ask little for all you have given me even that, I cannot deliver. I feel like screaming out, are you seeing my struggle? I want to give up, I’ve lost my way, I cannot see you.

Child, you are human, here today gone tomorrow like the flowers of the field, I knew your imperfections even before you were a clot of blood, but I promised to keep you, all I want is your will, not your effort. Just accept my love, when you do, you will love to obey me and do what pleases me, stop trying and struggling. I loved you even in your sinful state, how much more now that you are my own? Come to me, I will change you and make you what you have to be. I will perfect you for me, we will move from glory to glory, I stand knocking on your door, allow me back into your heart. I have always and will always love you.

You love ME?/Yes, You!

 But I am a sinn…/No,  I became sin that you may become righteous .

 I have a load of sin in …/No, you have Me in you.

I was…/ No, you are Forgiven.

 I did some bad st…/ I don’t remember.

You… Don’t?

As far as east is from west that’s how far I have removed your transgressions from you. The sins you repented from, I have forgiven and forgotten. Your help comes from ME, maker of all. I will not allow your foot to be moved. I keep you, I do not sleep or slumber. My arm is not too short to save you. I am well able to. I am with you always. I AM.

Always?

To the very end of the time.

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