How to behave at a Ghanaian party

This post is a party “apo” not parties where there are only drinks and plenty dancing, I’m talking about parties where you are allowed to eat, no restrictions. Before we begin, let me correct this, if you aren’t the one putting the food into your plate, its not a “serve yourself” party. I’m talking about golden tulip buffets and the parties MPs and ministers have where food flow isn’t restricted.

When you attend these parties, don’t you wish for more space in your stomach? Or at least wish you had 4 stomachs like the goats we feast on? Ever been to a party where a full goat was on fire and you were allowed to cut as much as you want? Those are the days you become fully aware of the limitations of the human stomach. But I have a few tips here to help you get the best out of these events.

1. The morning of the party, eat nothing. Or take something light, don’t go to the party having food already in your stomach, eat nothing, offload everything.

2. Have you realized that at these parties, water is served first, then the drinks, before the food? Smart people, the liquids just occupy unnecessary space in the stomach cavity. Sip some of the water and throw the rest away. Leave the drink for now, it should be the last thing you take or just pour it into the empty water bottle(you can drink it at home) but in case you want to drink everything, take it in sips, don’t gulp it down like a fish (wait, fishes don’t drink water, or do they?).

3. When its time to serve yourself, avoid the liquids(I will stress this a lot), its not best to start with starters, just go to the heavy food first. And don’t take too much, it doesn’t work that way. Because you like jollof a lot, you will go and fill your plate with jollof, you will waste your stomach space.

4. Don’t start with food you aren’t familiar with, fill half of your stomach with a variety of foods you are comfortable with before you move to the unknowns (thank me later).

5. After the 2nd round of serving yourself, get up and take a walk around the building or walk to the washroom. This would allow some of the lighter food to digest else you will last only 2 rounds. After the 4th round of serving yourself, by then the party should come to life, go and dance some of the food away, take a walk around and join the queue for another round.

6. Remember to eat a bit of everything. Some of the foods being served are expensive and you might not get another chance to eat them for free. One ladle of each type of rice, a slice of yam, a bit of banku etc. Then after you have eaten everything, you can fill your stomach with some salad, meat and drinks.

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These 6 points are the most important now, practise them and stop wasting food at parties. You will notice that you will eat, drink and have fun at the party.

Thank me later,

Corgito Ergo Sum,
Achere